Cyclothymia is a mood disorder. One that I happen to be diagnosed with. I try to look at it in a positive light but there are always the bad things that go along with it.
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The cyclothymia that I have is a lot like bipolar disorder. The only difference is I rapid cycle. I cycle every 2 hours when I am not medicated. When I am medicated it’s about every 5 days to a week.
I go between the highs and lows a lot. When I’m manic I’m on top of the world but when I’m depressed it’s hard to even think about moving. I have many coping skills to help me get through the day no matter what kind of day it is.
This is the highest of highs. When I’m manic I have unlimited energy and motivation. I want to do everything. I start new hobbies and plan more trips when I am manic. I feel great about myself. I have so much energy that I will physically wear myself out without getting mentally tired.
Mania seems great most of the time. There are some downsides to it though. It is hard to sleep even when I’m exhausted. I take more risks and I am a lot more impulsive. I’ll agree to almost anything. The worst part is that my mania normally leads to and ends with a panic attack.
On the flip side depression seems horrible. I feel down about myself and have little motivation. I am constantly tired. All I want to do is sleep when I’m depressed. I also talk and move slower. I am definitely more pessimistic.
I try to be kinder to myself when I am depressed. I take more time for myself and try to do the things that I enjoy or can handle. I look at it as my time to take care of myself. I try not to put much pressure on myself and just take it a day at a time.
I’ve learnt that there is good and bad to everything. We can’t control everything but we can control how we react to certain situations. I hope that maybe this has educated or helped someone out there. Let me know in the comments if you have any experiences you would like to share.